It's a small life. No children. A long lost ex. No fame, no fortune, no following.

But it is mine-it's all I've got-and it is enough.

My first couple weeks at Wally World, more than enough. It is it's own culture. Older ladies in the break room shaking their heads over the cluttered tables over how things have changed, have gone downhill over the years. Here, when you are in HR, getting your Orientation, all you hear about is what a great culture it is and how it is a family, and a fun job, and all the happy horsie crappola one expects to hear from HR.

I just needed a job...and for today, for now, I've got one. A cahier at Wally World? I was so mlost at first, but it seems better day, by day. It's just going to take time to get used to, until going through all of the motions becomes second nature, and routine.

May that day come quickly.

The myriad ways they have to take your money for their stuff largely made in China. It takes a lot to wrap your head around properly programing gift cards, debit, checks, credit cards, wick programs, coupons, keying codes for produce. No it's not fun. Yes it is confusing. Every customer is a challenge and most leave my aisle with at least the knowledge that I am new. Some are pissed I am new.

Awww Geeez,it's 10 minutes from home. When the job is done, I leave my work at work.

And when, I get home...entirely, I am at home. What more can you ask out of life. And when I get the particulars down, I can shine at this job. I can be kind and happy and caring. I have been volunteering to help take loads of people's stuff out to their cars...little old ladies, baffled country boys (remind me of Bubba) sent to get trucks full of goodies.

Cecile tells me something, something, the humble gift of serving...Yeah, I get off on it. I dig helping people. And I have to have a job...and, I can do that at Wally World. I tried at the hospitals, they weren't interested, And I cannot get too cocky, cuz I am just a temp...if I don't get this down, they are just going to let me go after the Holiday rush. What is so ultimately cool about it, is right now, that is OK by me. I never set out to be a cashier. Things I used to set out to be, have long since fallen by the wayside, professionally. I just want to be good at what I do, do it and go home. Is that so much to ask out of life?

I want to be warm at night, have a shower most every day. Give a little, take a little, live this life and be done woith it as painlessly as possible.

I deream of my father. Ususally, in ,u dreams as in my life, he is lost, and I cannot jhelp him. So he is. I miss him terribly. So much, too much pain there...I still cannot go there. I dunno when I will be able to. But I am busy now, and that helps. I really do hope it lasts. I cannot ask for more at my age than a job 10 minutes from home that I can leave at work...at least at this time in my life.