1. When Bubba & I lived @ that fancy employee park, the lot rental for the Rv was just $35 a month. Sometimes people felt sorry for us-still makes me laugh & smile. Some of the best times of my life were spent roughing it at that park.

2. For better or worse, inventory done for another month. Amen! Woo Hoo! Party down & do dat Friday dance-you know I do so love to dance...

3. Sean's wife, Mari, had her brain surgery. Her brain tumor that was the size of a lemon was benign, and almost completely removed. She'll have to have some radiation therapy to keep it from growing back, but the prognosis is good. Sean says that it was the "most profound religious experience" of all of their lives. I am so overwhelmingly happy for them & their two daughters.

4. As much as I love rock n' roll (putanotherdimeinthejukebox, Baby),& as much as I love movies & DVDs... and all of that joy that all of that noise brings to me, I revel in the glory that the sudden sounds of silence after turning these wonders of my age...off. I enjoy "white noise", as well, & sleep best to the soft drone of a mellow lil' fan. Silence is it's own beauty. I like a happy mix of the whole schmere...that way, I am sure to live life fully which remains one of my fondest & highest aspirations. We live in the country with some rail road tracks About a 1/2 mile off...I love to listen to the train here, as when I lived in the Bay Area, & would lie awake, waiting & listening for the fog horns about 1/2 a mile off. I love storms..the thunder and the rain, especially when the rain can be heard hitting the roof. I guess you could say, I'm easily amused, and that's a good thing.

5. I just this minute decided to take tomorrow off for me. I need it. All God's children detest inventory & I allow it to stress me, every time. I need the day & am taking it. I will work Sunday morn, come home & grab Rex, The Wonder Dawg, & hightail it to my small town, home town to make my rounds with friends & family. I need tomorrow for me. The treadmill, the minimum daily requirement of house keeping, watching the DVD of the 2nd season of "House" when Bubba is in the house,& jamming with my tunes when he's out & about being the work-aholic that he just is. He got us the set tonight & we both dig it so much...So, like, I'll see ya 'round, on the Stream on the morrow. Take care. Party On. Party responsibly, and hey now, let's be careful out there.

I'm wondering if my 7th grade teacher knew that swhen she told the rest of the class that I had dish water blonde hair with sallow skin knew I would remember her comments & the laughter of the other girls in Home Ec class at my expense this many years later.

I wonder if my old friend Ron, who encountered medical problems & severe depression a few years back & made a collect call to me advising me of his suicidal intentions is still alive & ashamed that he didn't follow through & thinks that I don't want to hear from him. I really wish that I could hear from him.

I wonder if my ex's second wife ever got out of that marriage. He had all the synptoms of a classic paranoid (@ a minimum) & was not likely to change & more than likely ruled (still rules?) her with the same iron hand I allowed him to rule and nearly ruin my life with another lifetime ago. They married in less than a year after the divorce(can you say "rebound"?) & he moved her up to Alaska so he could add professional fisherman to his resume which included him being a paramedic & a respiratory therapist. My money put him throught school, & kept up the household while he was in school. I allowed him to keep me out of continuing my education with his distrust & accusations so symptomatic of a classic paranoid. They had children. I wonder how they grew up? Do they fear their father? Did he mess up their heads, too? Was there a third wife? I know there was continued infidelity. That kinda of stuff usually dosen't cease...not when he was still in his 30's & 40's. I was sick & weak enough to be blinded by what I thought was love to allow him to "be out on the boat all night," on "fishing trips," on "hunting trips" & unable to come back from school in LA on weekends because it was too "expensive."

My Dad flashes back to his teens & twenties a lot. When I am in my late seventies & into my eighties, will my days of follwing rock n' roll & adventure up & down the Californis Coast become more clear than yesterday's memories?

I was on the treadmill 2 miles for 46 minutes tonight, not including the warm up. I wonder how much energy that will give me tomorrow? The more I give, the more I get in so many ways, in so many things- I wonder why I have to keep re-learning that? I wonder how I can generate similar snapping endorphines & racing adrennaline during work tomorrow? And if I can pull it off again tomorrow & if I will?

I wonder if these 3 dogs are the last dogs I will own. Bubba thinks when Rex, the Wonder-Dog passes, that we will be too old for any more dogs. I will never be too old to have a dog. Too poor maybe, but never too old. I cannot imagine growing old without a K9 companion. Even an old one...

I wonder if Don Heneley and Glenn Frey ever used to go to Grateful Dead Shows? ("Out on the road today, I saw a Dead head sticker on a Cadillac, A little voice inside my head said 'don't look back, you can never look back...'"). I wonder if you guessed that i played the Eagles Melbourne Australia DVD tonite whild exercising.

Bubba has crashed, for the night as have the dogs. I wonder how long I can hang out on the Stream before he asks me to please get off line & get some sleep? I am still jazzed from the workout. I wonder hopw much I will regret staying up late tomorrow morning so I could wander & wonder about tonight.

My friend Debbie took me at my word & when she had an extra ticket to go see Jimmy Buffet, she took a different woman with her who ruined the night for every one by constantly bitching and yapping through the music. I wonder if Deb realizes I'd have gone to see Jimmy on a Friday nite with no work on a Saturday. She says she will never take Ms Lizzie again & she should have asked me to go. I wonder if she didn't because I quit drinking?

I wonder if Santana is coming to Indy this year. August is almost gone & I have heard nada. I'd even miss work for Santana-by responsibly arranging for coverage, of course. I wonder why I don't feel that way about the Stones anymore?

Wondering is done. Bubba has asked me to sign off & there's nothing like making Bubba happy, so, see ya, kids!

In a magical world where Cher learned that yes, Virginia, you can too go home again, she lived with her handsome Prince Bubba in a park that was owned by the lil city's largest employers & the employees themselves. The lil employee park was quite lovely, with a putt-putt area, many picnic areas, many landscaped small lakes with fountains shooting up from the midst of geese, ducks, swans, and the occasional Blue Heron within walking distance of the archery range, the shooting range, a lil swimming pool, many camping and RV spots, near men's * women's outdoor-acsess showers and amenities situated in a camper's setting with large rooms for men on one side & women on the other side. There were golf driving ranges, a kiddie park, swings, and over along one of the furthest flowered field, the camp employees held their annual 4th of July Fireworks Show & folks came from miles around to see the spectacale. Cher & Bubba only had to leave their RV & walk down the road a piece, and there they were with primo access to the show. They could even walk their not-so-little Keeshound Mix dog Cassidy along with them to and from the show. During the fireworks, Cassidy would dart straight out into midair thinking that he could catch the exploding fireworks in his mouth as other dogs capture their Frisbees.

In the midst of all these manicured fields and camping areas, Cher picked out a campsite for their RV with the best view of the fountains in the lil lakes where you could rent paddle boats and mill about with the wildlife. All this and more were out her front door, where Bubba came back to rest whenever he was not working at his job that he planned to soon retire from after 30 years, or building their new home some 20 miles down the road. It was a home that Bubba designed himself, drew up plans for, and a lil gray house that he built all by himself with his own two hands. For almost 3 years, Cher and Bubba camped out year-round in their lil RV, and had a bon fire almost every night out infront with stereo speakers at either end of their caming lot. They went down to the community showers shared by campers and swimmers every chilly morning when the sun came up to start their days out with vim & vigor. Cassidy would tag along and pose for kids to take his picture while he waited outside for them to complete their morning routines.

This is how she lived for nearly three years while Bubba built the house,politely refusing offers of assistance from his woman, his friends and his family. He was rebuilding his life after a devastating dicorce. This was something that he felt compelled to accomplish alone. Meanwhile, he left Cher & Cassiddy to wander the fields & pastures of the lil employee park to their heart's content. There was no crime, nevertheless, a security truck rounded the lil Rv on the hour to ensure that it remained that way. It was a safe place.

A place where Cher could continue to heal from her own divorce and a couple of near-misses she had experienced shortly after said divorce. She had resiged herself with a shrug of her shoulders to being alone for the rest of her life, as she had known the alternative & it just drained her energy. But when she met Bubba, her energy was re-directed and she found a whole new world worth living for and in with a wonderful shy guy who's only wish was her happiness. and so, she lived in a wooded fairy-land as her prince single handedly built her a new castle for them to spend the rest of their lives together in, cause from pretty early on in the relationship she had granted his wish and had turned into quite a happy lady.

And you didn't think it was possible, but mood lifted...

I get by with a little help with my friends & my family.

I am loved. Need I say more?

My dogs are fat & happy.

Being sick last week & going thru heavy things ended in me, losing 4 lbs.

I've got music wherever I go.

I have a cell, a laptop, an ipod, a big red truck named "Old Yeller."

I am not hungry. I'm in an air conditioned environment.

My folks are nuts, but 3 out of 4 of them are still alive, and still know that I am their daughter.

Last night, I slept the whole night without waking.

I've got fresh Indiana corn on the cob, cantalope, watermelon, & tomatos.

I have my own bathroom. My own junk room. A fenced-in back yard, & I live in a rural area.

I watch too much TV on my two Tvs...too many Rock n roll CD's & DVDs, too many VHS & casette tapes.

My brother helps me seek therapy with a great lady who isn't sure that I need therapy, cuz I am mostly a very happy ol' hippy chick.

I've seen more Rock shows than I can remember.

I've partied hardy & put it behind me. Lived to tell stories about it.

I'm overall, pretty healthy...haven't had a headache for the last 3 days.

Tomorrow will be as beatiful as today was.

Tomorrow is Kick-Back Thursday & the day before Freedom Friday & so far, I have the entire weekend off & the weather forecast is lookin good all the way through.

I am optimistic.

It's time to crash, & I'm on my way to do just that.

1)who does that song? not Jack Johnson...one of those new really fine looking kids. Jason or Donovan or somebody, but whoever he is, I am right there with him. Looks like a long wait these days, and he sounds like good company.
2)again, the link between the Stream & my e-mail has dried up. Now, I dunno if Marvin ever answered my last rock n roll trivia question. will make a point of getting in touch with his blog, cuz I forgot the question. and to see if he will go see The Rolling Stones @ Churchill Downs. I've seen them twice, about 15 yrs ago in another life. It's a good story. I'll re-tell it sometime soon. They were old 15 yrs ago...but still, it was the greatest rock show I have ever seen.(excepting a coupla Niel Young shows & about 56 of the 200 times I have seen The Dead. Oh, and, of course, any Carlos Santana show cuz, anytime you can combine cosmic kindness & spirituality with rock n roll, well, Carlos wins, hands down). I won't hassle the crowds these days, nor the drive, nor can I tolerate being up very long after 9:30. I had a rough time getting thru the norm this week. It all turns into a bunch of memories that just skips in here and there around your brain, and a dream is just as good as a memory. I don't have to go to rock shows anymore. Been there, & done it. All I really want is a plesant evening w/ Bubba, a good night's sleep with him & da mutts, and to start the day not being fried from the night before.
3)so, my back pain is receeding, and since the dentist pulled that abcessed upper molar 4 hrs ago, I am heavy with the healing trip tonite. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. "Bless this house, O Lord we pray. Make it safe by night and day."
4) I have the entire weekend off...this should be the first of many. I made no promise to work Sundays...my company promised 7 day a week service, so they had best find a way to provide it. Saturdays are for me. Sundays are for visiting friends & family & my poor crazy parents in the nursing homes.
5) Thursday AM I awoke in big pain @ 4. I turned on the light in my bathroom so I would not be taking medication in the dark(ooo-that's kinda deep, considering my torrid past), when there came a knock-knock-knocking at the back door. Scared the crappola outta me & I had to wake up Bubba, as well as the 3 watch-dawgs. Long story short, it was Bubba's brother Jerry wide awake in his own pain, come to his big brother for help. This was betwen brothers, Jerry has lost his only son, as well as his home in the past couple of months. I went back to bed, but gave up on sleep. Heavy things in Small Town, Indiana...awake, listening to the cieling fan drowning out the details of the men talking, as the sun came up over the patio, knowing before he did it, that Bubba was going to give him money, cuz it is what he does. He rescues. My therapist, Cecile, tells me that my kindness shows in my face, and I gotta cop to it, I am an extremely kind person, but I do not hold a candle to the kindness of Bubba. Well, OK, we are both very kind, but his kindness overwhelms me...holds me in awe. He is such a gift to us all, and still quite the manly man. 14 yrs together now, & it feels as giddy as 14 days did into this wonderous partnership. I can remember doing dishes with my sister Jan, drying a pan & saying,"There's got to be something wrong with him...nobody is that good." But he is." I been in the right place & it musta been the right time." Cecile is not sure that I need therapy. Cuz overall, I am a vey happy person, but I know we just need to probe deeper. I sit & talk for an hour(often more), and she responds with telling me how great I am, and my big brother is paying for the sessions. Someday, I will believe that I am great, maybe, but it just isn't today. Just not today. I have a great life, but honey, I don't feel worthy. No where near worthy. and I really don't know why-is this some overdose of humility? or something even deeper, graver?
XTRA BONUS # 6 or who's counting? I want to surf the Stream as much as possible Saturday, but need help with Norton from my big bro 1pm-ish & will be stuck downloading (again) for a coupla hours...but I will feel better tomorrow (Won't I?) and try to post 5 or 6 fun facts...happy thoughts...something kind. I always seem whipped on Friday & better on Saturday. Usually it is the ultimate reason behind the hippie-timing of my Friday Five falling on a Saturday.

I'm really tired & need to go medicate my pain again, so I will close & surf with the tube in the background. and I'll keep waiting, for the world to get better, I'll keep on waiting.