Ya' know, I didn't mean to say that I was bummed yesterday...I was having a great day, and it just occured to me that nothing that good lasts. It is just the nature of things.But, it lasted through this day, as well. I only meant to say that I was hopeful that I could take things one day at a time, and handle the tough ones when they do get around to hitting me. 'Cuz the good stuff, then the bad stuff, is here today, and maybe gone tomorrow. I may be foolin' myself, but I'm hoping that I can roll with the punches to get to what's real.

Today- it was really good again..early to rise, great over-ez rock enroute to work, folks friendly & fun @ work, work done, more Sunday over ez tunes for the ride home. Bubba meets me in the driveway upon my arrival and tells me that he'd like to spend the day with me visiting my relatives & friends. You could have knocked me over with a feather...he volunteered to drive me hither & yon, bringing all 3 dogs in his truck along for the ride. It was so unexpected, so out of the blue, and oh so great. It meant the world to my Dad to see Bubba again, and 3 dogs instead of one, vising outside on this beautiful Spring day. He had a double-fudge Sippapple Sunday & a great time. Rene is pretty weak & delusional, I'm not sure she knew Bubba, but I was a familiar face, and for a woman who used to dislike & disapprove of fur-shedding company, she seemed to enjoy the sunny afternoon when the 3 dogs found 6 yr old triplets visiting their own Nana on this sunny perfect Sunday afternoon.

My own Mom was tired and confused by the 3 dogs, but overjoyed for her 2 cigarettes. She knew who Bubba was, but the former disapproval she felt for him, (as we never married) was too complicated of an emotion to harbor, and she was the pleasant & agreeable Mom that she has become since the miraculous arrival of Paxil in her life.

We visited my good friend, Deb, and she firted with Bubba to make him blush which only took about 3 seconds. He is so shy.

Finished up the visits with my sis & her hubby down the road from Dad's nursing home, Then, as he drove us all home, I zzz'd out in the shotgun seat.

I feel really good about today...we did good things & did them together & took the dogs along for the ride. Got another infamous headache & am intent on crashing now, to prepare for a good day tomorrow.

I'll keep y'all posted.

I am very happy at this point in my life.

It'll never last.

This is the way that things are. Things come & go, and all things must pass.

I've been miserable before, and one day, all too soon, I shall be again.

This is the way that life is as far as I can tell at this point in time.

I used to feel guity about the past, and fear the future. At this point in my life, the only thing that matters is right here and right now.

I used to take great pride in my memory, in the intricate details that pin pointed what I considered to be life-changing events.

Right here and now, I seem to have forgotten where I put that memory of mine.

I am not exceedingly overwhelmed by the fact that my memory is fading. It is what it is, and it isn't what it used to be. Like so many things in my life.

On good days, I take it in stride with humor. Like today, I watched a movie I have seen before for half an hour, before I remembered I had seen it before. My mom used to tell me that not recalling movies I've seen, and re-reading books that I had forgotten were a perk of forgetfulness. She was right, but at the time, I thought she was whacked.

Today, anyway, I realize that I just have to look at things in a different light, as inevitable changes start to influence my life. And in spite of myself, I must work to remember that aspect of my reality, tomorrow.

Crashola time approaches, and tomorrow holds 1/2 day's work, and a full day of making round visiting my loved ones, before I return to my beloved home, dogs, and Bubba. Tonight, I'm optimistic. I hope I can remember to be optomistic tomorrow. That would be really nice. If tomorrow could go half as well as today went, then for that day, I'd be really happy.

1.)I tend to get carried away. I completed my Wednesday Treadmill with a Super Brisk Truck @ 31 minutes, 42 seconds. Not sure, but our ancient bathromm scales appeared indicate that I may have lost another 2 or 3 lbs since last Friday...Thus inspired, Thursday's truck timed out @ 35 mins., 13 secs. And on this fab Friday I am forced to admit that I over did it yesgterday, and even though I was full of energy for my work day, tonight @ 8:45 pm my energy supply has suddenly and regretfully halted any semblence of production of creativity, inspiration, and or purpose. I had a great, full, happy day & all I want to do now is blog a little, curl up with the old man & the pup-dawgs(every night is a Three Dog Night on Bubba's Kick Back Lil' Green Acre) cuddle down under the covers & rejoice in the sounds of silence in our happy lil home. I be full of aches & pains tonight, but I gots the remedy for 2 much of a good thing, tonite & will work x-tra hard on my Saturday off to keep the good health thing going.

2)1 Big New Red Chevy Truck + 1 fine, Spring Friday in May, + 1 more imitation pay day + getting off @ 2:30pm = Taking the Long Way Home past all of the beautiful greenery through about 7 country back, way back woods roads + 1 Indiana FM Rock station blasting just a tad too loud= a grand total of a great Friday Vibes.

3) I am so plesantly tired & comfortable & cozy in my bed, waiting for Bubba to come in & join me...every night we fall asleep, holding hands. It is such an easy, heart warming feeling, holding each other's hand and fingers, as we drift away & wish one another sweet dreams, and chuckle & kid around & tease each other, kissing hands, kissing, holding hands, spooning. I have never been more happy in my life. I never even dared dream this wonderous time in space.

4)I am looking forward to tomorrow, anticipation...sleeping in, loving the dogs, blogging, listening to my music while Bubba mows the lush lawn. The dogs lying in the sun watching Bubba, the passing triffic, the occasional kid on a bike, or an ATV kicking up dust on the country dirt road in front of our yard.Watching movies with Bubba when he comes in for a break, spoiling the dogs in ways I dare not admit to in cyberspace...such a simple, wonderful life. Light housecleaning, srious treadmill, serious Rock N Roll when Bubba is out of earshot.

5)I never expected to live this long, so well. I have room for improvent, there will always be room for improvement, as such is life. But in all my life's dreamy dreams, I never imagined that I would live this wonderous of a life, so very perfect with autumn closing in this Spring Friday evening.

Like one of my past lovers...ahhh! the sweet memories!

Dig it...since we got the treadmill, I've lost 6 lbs! What a rush!

My lil' sis & her hubby bought lunch Mother's Day for her daughter & family(twins @ 9yrs old, Alex & Braden, a 4 yr old bundle of joyous energy, my grand niece Lydia, Pop & Mom( my niece-such a beauty, such a lady) my Mom and myself. We went Italian...how long before the Mid-West gets hip to whole grain pasta, I wonder? Not soon enough for me...so I ordered a Salmon salad w/honey & pecans & Romaine...but they rubbed the Salmon in sea salt, which would have delighted me 20 yrs ago, but I just lost 6 lbs, so in this day & age, not so much. Bubba & I avoid salt-there is only enough for the occasional salt H20 rinse in our house. Salt=H2O retention, Thanx, but no thanx. When will the Mid-West start thinking healthy? Not soon enough...scraped off the thick layer of heavy salt & the rest of the salad was a delight. Expresso for dessert. And an occasional bite of Mom's Cheesecake or Kath's Brownie. Losing 6 lbsat my age is inspirational. 26 lbs since last August. I'm on a roll & refuse to let it turn into a fat roll!

Mom was very confused during lunch...stange surroundings, lots of conversation with the Mother's Day crowd in a cavern-like environment, with the tables way too close together. I think she had a nice time, but it took some effort on her part to keep a smile on her face. She is a great, sweet & loving lady, I'm overjoyed that the Alzheimers has not robbed her of her the strength of her personality. One day at a time.

Got to view Lucy's Grduation ceremony while @ my Sissie's. We were both so favorably impressed with the entire production. I will drop her a note on the morrow & request that when she matches the pics to the names, maybe she will keep it like a slide show, as dial-up cannot access such a great work of art.

Back at work. Everybody stressing how much I was missed & that always garauntees a warm, fuzzy feeling. I really like where & whom I work with, but the company that I work for is totally out of whack-taking advantage of my good nature, and I am in the process of putting a stop to it via job hunting. Hoping to brush up on my Spanish and computer skills in the near future, towards bettering myself in general. I'm optimistic.

And as Bubba's paralizing headache has returned for the 3rd or 4th time today, it is time to crash to prepare for the morrow,,,day after day of wind & rain has not been kind to our heads, but I am so thankful we have each other to help us through it all...Later Daze....

No woman, no cry,
It's a vacation! Best laid plan of mice 'n men.
I went to the lil ladies that do my resumes on Monday. This is Friday. I will go pick it up so belatedly, because my little town is so beautiful, well-intentioned, kind, self-indulgent, and oh, so very human. The 75 yr-old lady who did the first draft, did not respond to my e-mail with my suggestions and changes. She just forgot to check for my e-mail response. I understand now, that the two ladies who run the lil' place alternate days. The second lady didn't check the e-mail on Tuesday, either, until I called in the early afternoon to see what the hold up was-I mean it's one page. She said she'd get right on it. She didn't. I must assume she either got busy, or saved it for the 75-yr old, as she started my work. The 75 yr-old lady claims to have called me on Wed. & left a mssg. Honey Bunny, I was on line all day, awaiting her finished product, I have dial-up. She left her mssg on a wrong number's machine, but dosen't want to admit it. I dunno why folks hesitate to utilize your cell phone number,when you make a point of ensuring that you give it to them, and prefer to leave a message. So, Thursday, I got notification of the finished product via e-mail , but had conflicting vet appts for my beloved muttinskis in a different town, thus, now it is Friday, and I am going to pick it up shortly.

Hey, I dial wrong numbers. I forget things. I obviously was not cherishing the idea of job hunting. Consequently, when under the stress of job hunting, I have to have that resume in front of me to get @ my work history. I can't count the times that my mind draws a blank when I need to be at my best. I don't have a printer for my laptop(my brother kept it to "tweak" it. I haven't brought it up, & he has most likely forgotten.) I needed these folk's assistance right now. As my computer skills improve, and with my friend, John's help, hopefully in the future, I won't. It's always nice to have a back up plan, though, and I will always keep all options open.
Bubba had the same job for 30 yrs & doesn't get it-why I need to work from a resume. Hey now, I've been job hunting empty-handed before. I do not recommend it. Job hunting is self imposed stress enough, I've got to have something to work from. So, I need to go pick up the resume and copies today. I have combined the trip to town with a MD appt. The week is gone. But I still had a good one.
I purchased interverview outfits(no small chore for a woman who hates to shop.) They are nice. I needed nice clothes. Tie-dyes are not recommended for job hunting, no matter how much I may love the color & the statements they make(to me, they mean joy & kindness, other's just don't get that vibe. Dig?)
Bought my first of Capri's-thought I'd hate 'em, but they look really nice. It felt good not to shop @ Wally World for a change. Had a gift card from last Christmas from my sister for Kohle's, and used that, so it was like a free excellent outfit. Without that gift card, I would ave neber taken the time to check out Khole's.
I got things done. Put my income tax return into the bank, and joined the library (at last). Walked over a mile on the treadmill every day, each day, a little faster & a little longer. Watched "The Color Purple." Watched "GMA"& "Montel" every AM, which I usally enjoy when they don't ask stupid question. Spoiled the dogs. There was lots of rain, so Bubba & I spent some afternoons together. Early to bed, early to rise. E-mailed Moonsilver often, and improved our sista-friend bonding.
And even though I made it rough on myself on Monday, the rest of the week I have let it be. It is what it is.
My company gave me a raise, and, of course, cut my hours. So, I will do less of a good job, be gone by 2pm & hit the pavement in the afternoon in the future. It was self-defeating to think I could find a job on my one week a year off. It's my vacation! I got library books on older women achieving things into their 70's, and beyond,(like the lil lady at the resume place. She worked 40 yrs at a local bank & now does resumes every other day to the best of her ability).Also, 2 classics from Heinlein that I owned in a former life time & had lost.I kept my cool. I enjoyed my self.
Now, I've got to get my act together & get back to my lil town(1/2 hr drive), see the resume ladies, see the doc, buy some some shoes(more than 2 yr.s since I did that-I really detest shopping), run errands etc.
Looks like rain, and it feels like rain (in my head, of course), but I am taking it all in stride. As Joe Walsh says "I have to learn to live my life one day at a time."
I didn't clean out my junk room. Did anyone really think that I would? I'm on vacation. I haven't given up on anything-the whole idea is to make the best of what is. That much, I am getting done, and with a new, positive attitude.