A lot of it is the flu...but Johnnie & Lucy, both gone? I feel so sad. I miss them so, already...BABY COME BACK! when & if you can... YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE & MISS YOU BOTH. AND IT JUST WON'T EVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU.

Peace be with you my friends. HAPPINESS & PEACE

I've got the flu. going back to sleep, dream, and mourn, and feel soory for myself and to pray for my friends...

oh boo hoo hoo.
I think I got the flu.
I hurt & I'm tired & not making sense,
& may call in sick on the morrow in my defense.

this is not fun
in fact it bites,
so, I'm runnin' off now
intent on salvaging the night.

I wrote a great post yesterday, the words flowed, and I was so very prolific. However, just as I was winding it up, my right pinkie finger must've hit the invisible Premature Deletion key, and Poof- it was gone. This is a recurring challenge for me & I dunno how I do it, and I surely wish it would stop, but other than it always is from my left pinkie finger hitting something it shouldn't...and I dunno what I am doing wrong. Still hazy after all these years...

Thus, allow me to make try & make up for lost time, and an obviously lost mind, by recreating what I remember, or improv, or make up as I go along.

I recall reminding y'all that I run & hippie time & you need to get used to it. Then, I started my FridaY Facts On SunDAY afternoon, and now, recreating them on Monday evening. Have we got this straight-are we on the same page?

1) I worry too much..."There's nothing you can hold for very long." Bubba is having trouble adjusting to his beta- blocker, blood pressure medication. Lately, he has been quite the Grumpy Old Man, and been playing the part well here, of late & it just ain't the him he wants to be...I can usually BS him back into a good mood, but it is an important role that I now need to be full-filling more frequently than ever before. I need to sharpen up my BS skills...like riding a bike, I suppose...

2) I did forsee his mumble-grumble 'tude deepening when all this heart pounding adventure got it's foot in the door-as we (esp. me) are stuck in the '70's, I got on line & secretly ordered the complete second series of "Coulumbo." It arrived in time for April Fool's day, which was a really dreary day & Bubba was feeling weak, restless & pissy. After he got back from "Second Breakfast", at the corner General Store, saving the world with all the other good ol boys, we settled into our ridiculous recliners & cozied up to "Columbo" all day long. 5 stars, 1971, with all the popular stars of the 70's guest starring as money-grubbing murderers. It was great! I had a hoot! of a time. "The music" (of my laughter)"never stopped". He slept in that Red Foreman recliner through a lot of, but my laughter frequently woke him up. Not responsible for my reactions-"Just one more thing..","I do have a second car. My wife has a car, but it is strictly for transportation purposes only." ,"Whatsamatter with my raincoat? It's my favorite raincoat!" I'm thinking that when he managed to stay awake that Bubba was diggin' it, as well, seeing as how we watched all 8 episodes on that Saturday, stuck in the '70's, smilin'.

3)Friday's night's sorms were quite the whang-dang-doodle, all night long. As it turns out, so were Sunday's night's storms which kept me from re-doing my post, as the thunder rolled away the dew, rain cavalcaded, and smokestack lightening made it's spendid and terrorfying return. Hurricane force winds hurt a lot of our neighbors in different sad ways, but it just skimmed over the top of Paradise, over here @ Bubba's Place...we are truly blessed.

4) I am watching more Dead DVD's lately. It is in my nature. "You plant ice, you gonna harvest wind..." When I was married, my ex commanded that The Dead not be played in his presense. Ever. (I think his power trip was threated in the light of my deadication to the" Boys.") They just plain ol' bug Bubba. But he know how I love 'em & just asks that I keep the volume down,(WHAT?pump it up!) and turn it off if he comes into the bedroom to spend quality time with me, and I can roll with that. It still just blows me away that the man I hope to spend the rest of my life was has never, ever, not once, heard the magic in music.. I feel for sorry for him, and it irks me that he acts like I'm the strange one, and though that may be so, being myself is all that I can be...don't ever think I will ever change when it comes to music. I could not have made it this far if it wasn't for the healing power of music. It is as essential to me as the very air that I breathe, and that sounds melodramatic, but I cannot imagine never guessing, witnessing, knowing the glimspe of music that is the promise of us all shining on. I'm watching different "View From The Vault" DVD's...reminding me of an entirely different life that used to be mine...a "past life" that is still running it's course, full circle.

4)Improvising now..cannot recall Sunday's #4(the one that should have been on Friday). I just picked up the paperback of "The Davinci Code", read the first coupla pages and am straining at the leash. to get back to it. I gotta post this, surf a wee bit &then, get back to it, 'cuz, as you well know, I've got it goin' on with words almost as good as I got it for music. It IS all good. Tonite, Bubba will be watching his "show" "Deal or No Deal" which drives me nutz with that phone ringing, and people feeling like crappola on camera for what coulda been, had they guessed a different stupid briefcase than the stupid briefcase that they did pick. Woulda, coulda, shoulda...I feel the same way about game shows as Bubba feels about music. Opposites do attract, & I am so glad he built the house large enough for him to go his way, and me to go mine, and we never go very far from each other. Ever.

5)I am flirting with overkill here & now. I love to flirt...with danger, disaster, the young kids at work...never serious, just for fun. I love flirting with fun-it's fun. I'm firting with a repeat performance & that would be no fun at all, if I were again hit the invisible Premature Deletion Key again & lost this post, as well. It has happened before,,,but not this time. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Color this bad boy "posted" &/or "toasted", however you may see it, as it is all in the way you look at things. "In the end, there's just a song...Stella Blue..." "It all rolls into one, nothing comes for free..." "It seems like all this life was just a dream..."

winds blowin 'round the corner of the house...howling, blustering, distant thunder...there's a storm a comin' on. May have to get outta the Stream on quick notice if the Smokestack Lighting start to rear it's head...I've got acoustic Crosy, Stills & Nash on the DVD, and it doesn't get much better thatn this.

Got a ceiling fan swirlin' the heavy, humid, pre-storm close air thick in the bedroom. Some aromatic Caifornia Scents freah-opened...Apple Cider, quite lovely..."Daylight Again...Mother Earth will swallow you, Lay your body down..."

I have a very good life. I have challenges. Lessons learned, but not applied. Deep thoughts

more thunder, heavy wind, the boys just dedicated "this one' for Bill Graham..." "Teach Your Children Well"

Bubba tells me that the storm approaches, the lighten is getting closer, so as soon as I am on, I'm off! For safety's sake.lESSONS LEARNED... applied...the dvd IS OVER, ANYWAY

tomorrow, my friends, tomorrow

The frogs are back, I kin sit on my back porch & watch the finger-nail moon, make a wish on the first star I see tonite, feel the cool spring breeze on my face, and put each one of my arms 'round the necks of two dogs that love me and smile at me constanly.

I keep forgetting that the farmer's field in the back of my backyard rotates between corn & soybeans on an annual basis. This year, they will plant soybeans that turn into golden shrub fields once autumn rolls around.

And that there are woods behind the field, and it all looks so cozy and Southern Mid-Western typical rolling plains scenic view," doo-doo-doo, lookin' out my backdoor."

And I never mention that we have a huge solitary pine tree in the far right corner of our fenced-in back yard. Bubba dug each post hole with his post-holer, all by himself. The tree used to be a Charlie Brown Christmas tree that Bubba brought over for the front of the RV that we were living in while he was building the house. We had no room for it, but put it utside the front door & decorated it. We were the only year round residents that the RV park had...lot rent was $135.00 a month, and we often had the RV park all to ourselves. with nightly bon-fires in the front yard, sitting around the fire talking, laughing, teasing, playing with the two dogs we had back then. People felt sorry for us. Like we were in dire staights or something...we were, & still are, in Heaven, and we were the only ones that know it. I had such lawn art when we didn't have to mow the lawn! Passed on by my Step-Mom to me when they could no longer handle all the stairs in the big old music store/home that I grew up in. They chose to move to condos with neighborhood rules & monthly meetings, where ceramic skunks and pink flamingos were most defitinely verbotten. It was fun to have a menagerie decorating out lot for the year & a half we lived there.

And, did ever tell y'all thatI have a huge gardenia, a potted plant that I keep as a reminder of one of life's lessons as of yet, still obviously left unlearned (another post, perhaps).I have managed to keep her alive & some how to thrive through the winter & this week we will move it to it's shady spot by the front gate so it can languish in the indirect sunlight. Her name is Althea.

I always leave out the part about each one of my dogs gets a part of a can of tuna fish poured onto the top of their diet kibble with the left over tuna to eat right out of the can on the side. One can per dog. Every night. And in the morning, Bubba cuts up some turkey dogs, cheap cheese, and the occasional ham chunk with a side can of a tad bit o' skim milk served in the empty cans from the banquet the night before. Every morning.

I always forget that no matter how stressed I get, even if it's pre-empted now & then, I get to watch "My Name Is Earl " most every Thursday evening. And like Earl, I too, am just trying to be a better person.

Whenever I remember.