Before I went into surgery, I splurged and bought new pillows. Smart me-good for me-rehab is much easier with a soft place to lay my head.

I just don't feel like blogging. I don't feel like writing. Whatever the reason -and I have thought about all of the reasons. Forget the fact that I hurt, forget that I love to read and to write and to get the occasional kudos. Perhaps I just do not feel like sharing. Perhaps it some kind of despondency. Perhaps, hopefully, it will pass. I like myself when I write-when I use the gifts that have been given to me.

Before and after my surgery,I have chosen to zone out. Lots of DVDs. "N.Y.P.D. Blue"-the first four years-great stuff. Totally enthralling. No commercial interruptions, no live audience, no canned laugh tracks-just great writing about terrible things and the cops who try to fix them. It's funny. I never gave New York City a thought, a chance-and although this old show has not endeared me to The Big Apple, they have, strangely endeared me to cops. "Honest guys who can read and write," says Sipowizc. "Don't ever shame this job," Dennis Franz tells his son played endearingly by Michael Deluise. I have no delusions of cop grandeur, but know so many are just trying to do the right thing-as am I, most of the time, when I like myself best. And folks jump to erroneous conclusions about me all of the time. But I do mean well.