My politics, faith , my view of the world is my own and not up for debate. My music, my life style, my choices in life-even my mistakes are my own, and I have no need to have others attempt to dictate their views unto mine, not mine to theirs. I am what I am. The only person that I can change is myself-and I am the only person that I wish to change. It took a long time to learn to love myself-something that I will jealously guard from all of those who fail to recognize my right to do so. I have been places and done things that no other human being has done-I am unique, as is my take on the world. I have nothing that I need to prove to anyone, and I am learning more and in depth every day. Try to bleed this heart, only if you dare!

I awoke with yet another head banger. My headaches are more than enough of the cross that I have to bear. They rule my life in reality-like no far off politician, no lofty ideals-the bottom line is when I am crippled by pain, nothing else really matters.

I breathe deep, and I cannot rise above it, so I try to go with it. Often I think that the deep breathing techniques that I have been taught & re-taught are just something to get my mind off the pain. I know that increasing my oxygen expands and re-aligns my blood vessels and theoretically, the constricted blood vessel that is my headache will assume it's more natural, expanded pain free form-but I still think that a lot of the cure mind over what matters.

I am often asked the reason that I have headaches as if there was some method in this madness. There does not have to be an underlying reason-it just is, and there is no denying it. Like M.S., like Fibromyalgia, like any affliction, it just is. No one can tell me that it is not very real pain. Not out loud, to me anyway.

I'd like to write more, but do not think that I am helping myself by chasing these tiny letters across the computer screen. Yep, I best break this off, for now & concentrate on deep breathing and going to a Pacific Isle in my mind...