Work-out wise, I did do better on Tuesday-a full hour on the treadmill, but flaked on Wednesday. The day just slipped away. Before I knew it, the day turned into evening and it was too late to start the regime. Hopefully, again, better today-yet that, of course, remains to be seen. I do hear that blogging helps those intent upon improving health-I suppose it centers on bragging rights. I just hope that it also works for me.

This flake factor continues to shadow my life, but perseverance is in my favor. Bragging rights again, as I just successfully paid my first on line bill. It only took 5 emails and 5 phone calls to get it right, but methinks I did get it right. Why on earth it will take a few days to post, I dunno, but I will roll with it, as I believe it is how all things will be in the near future. It is amusing to note that most items that required extra attention was only me making silly little things hard on myself.

My mother's aspiration pneumonia appears to be clearing in one lung, but they just found a dark spot in her other lung that they did not note on the original test this week. My sisters are with her at the hospital now as further tests are being run. She will be confused enough without me there today, and I will visit her tomorrow and see if I can sweet talk some food into her at lunch. I am trying not to worry, trying not to freak out, but resigned to the possibilities, as she was a smoker all of her life. Even last week, she looked pointedly at my sister and asked the lunch room occupants, "Does anyone have a cigarette?" My poor sister thought herself to be at fault for reminding Mom of smoking, as 2 sisters and a brother remain hooked, but always tell her that they have kicked the habit to protect her from further possible harm. Mom remains unimpressed-she just wants a cigarette.

And the beat goes on. Bubba will not break down and buy a rider mower just yet. These days, mowing the lawn out here in the boondocks is a 3-4 day afternoon ordeal, when the neighborhood kid-for-hire fails to show. I cannot blame the no-show kid. He has offered to help using his own rider mower, but Bubba insists (grumpy old man) that the two of them mow together with the 2 push mowers that he provides. It break their backs as I know that Bubba suffers beautifully, and can only imagine how the kid feels. I cannot blame him for shining us on. Yet, Bubba will not relent, as I guess he views the excursion as a healthy work out for the both of them, though more often, for himself. I tried to help once, but he stubbornly insists that as I cannot keep the lines straight, I best not even try. Bubba would rather I not try to help him mow the lawn. Like I was going to argue with his semblance of logic. The few times the kid does show, I continue to be amazed. They can mow the acre together in one afternoon, but when he mows alone, he no more finishes than it is time to start again. Like me-he makes it harder than it has to be. Why do we do that?

Somewhere along the line, I have picked up the concept that we are here to learn. Life lessons, light bulb moments, a means to an end. I won't even attempt to venture a comment on Mokie Joe's "Touchy Subjects" most recent Blogstream post, "Into the Mystic." I love ya' dearly, brother, but, whew! If justifying my existence begs that much deep thought, debate, research and questions then,it just robs me of the joy of living-if living is even what I am truly doing in some deep-thinking circles. If I didn't struggle with daily headaches already, such point and counter point would certainly present me with one. More power to Mark and Whit and Ron and Pop, but life is complicated enough. I can see they were having fun, but again, whew! I do not have the the patience to question if I exist. Life, as I know it, remains just too short. A flaky excuse at best, but those concepts indeed, make life harder for me than it has to be.

I truly need to deal with that which I can deal with and get on living my life, trying to be healthy. So I am signing off now to dress for the treadmill (ipod & all) and get it done for the day.