William Jones has 17,800,000 results for that fine name. I love only one. He was at my wedding in the '70s, and he took me by my shoulders and told me, "Don't do this! You will regret this every day for the rest of your life." He was right, about that. We've been through some times together, and still, don't it make my brown eyes blue, that he wants me to cut his name out of my "rolodex, address book,and cell phone." Over fleeting, fickle, lying, hateful politics. I refuse to believe that politics is "all we've got." There certainly must be more to life...like lasting friendships that stand the tests of time?...no?

You wouldn't know which William Jones he was if he hadn't posted his full name & rank on my blog comments last Tuesday-it could have been a name I made up, like Bubba. When he met Bubba, he said, "You can marry this one." (I wish!)

I couldn't sleep last night. Bubba keeps teasing me, "You look like you lost your best friend," and he thinks it's funny, as he is not a particularly emotional guy, and if you asked him to name his best friend, he probably couldn't, unless he named me. He's just not sociable that way. But I am, and I have been all of my life. And ever since I was 21 years old, Billyjones has been in my life, my "adopted big brother."

We never slept together, although, once he told me he was pretty sure we could have "tore up the sheets real good," but we have been self-proclaimed big brother, and little sister for decades. He always looked out for me. Inspected the guys I was dating... I have visited him many times in San Diego & South Carolina. We were stationed together and shared a house with many others kids in Maryland. And we never really had a real fight. Not really, it's just been brotherly love between us, all of these years...

When he went through his divorce, I tried to look out for him. He came here for Christmas, and even though I didn't want to have a 50th birthday party, he told me a big party was important to HIM that next July, so he came and met with another mutual friend, & my buddy, Deb, threw me a nice little 50th birthday party, although my partying days were long gone...homey don't play that silly game no more...just about partied out.

The point is that we've done things for each other, and loved each other over the years, and forgiven one another, and made up and kept up our brother and sister love. And what? It's gone over political propaganda?

www.snopes does not lie. I snope-ed McCain. I snope-ed Obama.

I google-ed "Verbal abuse, John McCain, Cindy McCain" to find story after story of him telling her "at least I don't pile on the make-up like a trollop, you cunt" 10 years ago...that wasn't just a slip of a tongue...the 2 of them were giving an interview, he knew reporters were there...he's taken no anger management classes, and you know as well as I do, that he needs them. If he verbally abused her 10 years ago in front of reporters, where does that put his head space now? How does he speak to her when there are no reporters around, behind closed doors? I could not possibly vote for such a man. Read what www. snopes says about him dumping his 1st wife who waited for him while he was a POW. Sure, the experience left him damaged, and that's my point!

No. no. no more politics after this post.... of course my last post said I'd go back to Obama-he, at least appears to respect his wife, and the female of the species. Snopes says the Koran myth is a lie as is the Muslim rumor...www.snopes does not lie...cheesy emails that float around the net that use arguments that even McCain does not use...well, you can prety well bet they lie...

I was almost ready to vote McCain just to please Billy & Bubba, but I am too old & fiesty to play those games, anymore. I did crap like that when I was married to H.P. and hey-"I have to make my own mistakes!" still !! right on! I cannot let others dictate for me anymore!

Bubba will love me regardless. Politics are not allowed dicussion in this house for never the twain shall meet.

Billy holds his love hostage, and I am wounded at losing his love for the rest of my silly, shallow, senseless, pointless, political-hating, life. I mean, is that really what you want, Billy? What is to gain? Do yo have so many friends that truly care about you that you can just brush one who really loves you carelessly aside?

I lost a lot of friends when I left California and came home to Indiana. I lost a lot of friends when I quit drinking. I lost a lot of friends when I quit going to bars, and being a designated driver. I lost a lot of friends when I quit going to concerts, and being a designated driver. I lost a lot of friends when I stopped hanging out at houses where there was partying, drinking, and smoking, and joking. I lost a lot of fiends when I started taking care of my parents as their health declined. I lost a lot of friends as I made rushing home to Bubba & our dogs my priority.

Like autumn leaves, my friends keep falling away from me, and now, Billy...BillY? I thought he'd come to my funeral, or I to his. I thought that his friendship was the real thing. Was I so wrong, Billy? And why?

Can I not be forgiven my great and terrible sins, Kind Sir?

I spend more & more time alone these days. One is born alone, one dies alone. I had hoped to have made a few quality friends along the way. Perhaps disappointment will become the only long term friend that I really know...

Bubba has a terrible summer cold. Two night running, now, he has been up most of the night coughing, sneezing and hacking. This morning, I awoke with the same symptoms...fever, congestion, sore throat, and lots of crying...because, I've lost my best friend.